The clouds get dark, as they hover over my head.
Thoughts take over as I’m laying in the bed.
How’d I get right back to where I started?
Thinking in my head, I must be retarded.
Why go back to the place you tried to cleanse from?
Asking myself, am I really that dumb?
Then I think oh it’s for a reason.
Then I think about the reason for my season.
I look back and it doesn’t make sense.
Did I always want to run and hide, behind the white picked fence?
I beat myself up over circumstances I can’t change.
Feeling down about myself, cause the rain is drained.
Drained down in my soul, where I feel it is dark.
Flooding my whole existence, like Noah and the arc.
I ask God, why me?
Show me the things that I cannot see.
Help me to be thankful and not to bleed,
On the people who are only trying to help me.
I say lord, if you are listening then take away the toxins from around me, from within me.
It’s harder to see when you don’t want to see.
Am I worthy of love? Am I capable of loving?
Am I worthy of someone loyal and faithful, in a world where side pieces are the norm?
I don’t know, but whatever lesson it is I need to see, I hope and pray it is presented to me.
Relearning. 