On social media I see a lot about relationships especially coming from girls/woman. Most of the time people get out of relationships not because they were treated bad, not because they were always going through something pertaining to cheating, but sometimes relationships don’t work out because you want better for the other person. I’m going to get a little personal so you guys can get where I am coming from. In my recent realationship I was treated like a queen, I was cared for, loved, and for the most part appreciated. We had our arguments and fights but it wasn’t anything we couldn’t work through. Let’s talk about my background a little bit, okay so while I was growing up my dad was not around, like ever- I never knew him, never saw his face, never hugged nor kissed him. Being that I didn’t know my dad and knowing he wasn’t there for me hurt me, my mom would bring guys around and I would cling to them like I would if I had known my dad.. they would always disappear though. Ps. I’m not looking for any sympathy. So as I grew up I saw how not having my father really affected me in a lot of different ways, I’m telling you about this because I feel like it played a role in my past relationship, now that you have a glimpse of my background I can proceed with my past relationship and why it didn’t work out.. not that you care.. lol. At the beginning of my relationship or when we started getting serious, my ex told me he had a son, at first I was mad because I asked him if he had a son and he told me NO, but we worked through it. I was like cool, we started working on our relationship, growing.. you know like building trust, talking about our childhood, being as open and honest about everything. About 6months in we end up getting our own place together, mind you we were together for about 3yrs, I’ve never met the son , never met the babies mom, NOTHING. I can count how many times I’ve actually seen him go over, or have him come over and see his son or even talk to him on the phone, ps this is not to bash him. He told me why it was like that but I honestly feel like he wasn’t that serious with me when it came to actually meeting his son and the mother. He told me I was disrespectful every time I brought up his son and how he wasn’t there, it really made me uneasy so I just left it alone. However every time we were about to break up , it was because I would say something about him being an absent father.. I guess it hurt him, but it also hurt me to know that his child couldn’t have all of his father, same as my childhood. I felt like it was my fault why his babymother and him couldn’t get alone, I felt like it was my fault why he couldn’t see his son. Being that my father wasn’t there I felt for little dude, it hurt my heart. And I know it was a complicated situation but I just couldn’t take it. Had he been in his sons life actively I wouldn’t have tripped and I sometimes feel bad because I feel like maybe I should’ve stuck around and loved him through it but it ate at my concious too bad. Really bad! I couldn’t take it and when I would say something about it, I became disrespectful, in his eyes. Me personally I didn’t want to be his priority, I feel like he was too busy tryna raise me when he should’ve been raising his son. Mind you he’s 9 1/2 yrs older than me, so he has plenty of experience and I do appreciate him, I still love him, and I did learn a lot from him, however it just didn’t work out. Maybe I was too childish? Maybe I should’ve looked at it from a different perspective but it still ate at me even when I tried. It hurts but I know what I’m doing is both a favor so we can grow and become better people for ourselves and in his case for his child. All I wanted him to do was put in a little more effort for his seed, but I guess I was the bad guy.

Anyways I say that to say this- just because a relationship didn’t work doesn’t mean it’s because there was cheating or lying, it could be because that person was in your life to help you grow and to understand yourself better. We both put in a lot of work with each other, we both put in the time. However we weren’t married and he wasn’t obligated to move when I say so. But all I am saying is don’t feel guilty for doing what feels right for you, don’t feel guilty for washing your hands and moving on. Don’t feel guilty about it, don’t put him down and don’t put yourself down! Move on with grace and with your head held high. Know that you’ve done everything you could. But it was only for a season. Take your loses and move on with what you’ve learned because it is never wasted time.

Peace, Love, and Happiness to you all.

Be strong and keep your head up!

💋❤️